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Joke of the Day

"Because the unspeakable can also happen to men I bought myself a rape alarm. I'll be fucked if this thing doesn't work."

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"What do you use to transport pittas? A flatbread truck"
"""Hi honey did you miss me?"" ""With every bullet so far"" - Married with children. Peggy and Al Bundy. Just watch the whole thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_PKMbdNTU"
"So Harambe walked into a bar Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe"
"Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Does. Not. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has.Asthma"
"What type of cheese is strong? Shredded cheese."
"What is a pirates favorite letter? 4"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what they're laced with but I've been tripping all day..."
"poetic injustice ITS ALWAYS BEEN A LIFELONG WISH TO MAKE LOVE TO A CONTORTIONIST AFTER YEARS OF PLAYING ALL THE ANGLES IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL NEVER BE ENTANGLED"
"Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats."
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