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Joke of the Day

"Molly and Shannon are sisters born on the same day of the same year, same mother, same hospital. But Molly is 7 years older than Shannon. How is this possible? Shannon died in a car accident."

"The difference between a tire and a black man... A tire doesnt start to rap when you put chains on it."

"I figured out why prostitutes always look tired and haggard. Their job is a lot of fucking work."

"You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."

"Why are government buildings alike all around the world? free masonry."

"I'm pretty sure this zombie fad is dead ... But for how long?"

"An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"

"Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside? Because 9/11 was an inside dog."

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."