195852

Joke of the Day

"Molly and Shannon are sisters born on the same day of the same year, same mother, same hospital. But Molly is 7 years older than Shannon. How is this possible? Shannon died in a car accident."

"Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors? It wooden start"

"What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his ass A ba-boom."

"My New Year's resolution for 2017 was to lose 10 pounds. Only 12 more to go."

"I answer private number calls with: ""Rent a Gent hello"""

"The chicken crossed the road. Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ? Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it."

"I asked a Jewish girl for her number.. ..do she rolled up her sleeve."

"I really don't understand why people think mayweather is so great I'd much rather have June weather"

"Why does the communist party hate planes? Because they're always Stalin"

"[break-in] BURGLAR: [cracks safe] COP: Not so fast, kiddo BURGLAR: [cracks safe more slowly]"