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Joke of the Day

"DR: Are you sexually active? ME: Very DR: Eating donuts alone in your car doesn't count ME: Still yes DR: Neither do croissants ME: Then no"

"Anal with my girl friend made my whole week... It also made her hole weak"

"You hear about the love struck super magnets? Whenever they met face to face, they just couldn't seem to connect, however the moment one turned to walk away, they were nearly inseparable."

"What idiot called it endangered ocean population instead of deficiency?"

"Balloons think they're so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, ""Pfft."""

"What did the ninja do when he failed to kill his target? He sai'd"

"Hey, waiters, write down my fucking order. If you're trying to impress people how about don't be a waiter."

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""

"Apparently, ""he's an army officer"" isn't the correct response to ""who's your daddy""."

"I can turn water into Kool-Aid. Your move Jesus."