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Joke of the Day

"You hear about the love struck super magnets? Whenever they met face to face, they just couldn't seem to connect, however the moment one turned to walk away, they were nearly inseparable."

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"Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly we'd have to call them slow-i-canes."
"Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the ""11"" in ""9-1-1""."
"What's the difference between a redneck and a gay man? A redneck marries his sister. A gay man marries a brotha."
"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""
"How does a seamstress reply to someone asking her how her day was? So,so....."
"Give me your coconut water and organic gluten-free cookies, unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2015 school bully"
"All pills are sleeping pills if you take enough of them."
"What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe? Vault Disney"
"The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray."