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Joke of the Day

"I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider."

Next Joke
 
"What did the priest say to the child at the playgrounds? Its a slippery slope."
"Do you know why they call it a raspberry pi 2? Because when you see it you'll turn 2 pi radians and walk away."
"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""
"Why was the pregnant woman screaming ""wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!""? She was having contractions."
"[if Lois Lane was a witness] Criminal: *puts on glasses* Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I've never seen this man before."
"Wanna know the difference between a street performer and a hobo? The age"
"What would Steve Harvey change his name to if he suddenly became bulimic? Heave Starvey"
"A man walked into a bar... I ducked."
"Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:..."