195614

Joke of the Day

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"I'm like a Ferrero Rocher in that I'm quite nutty and go down nicely with wine. I also come in family size."

"Maybe my threats will be more effective if, after I mentioned all the people I've killed, I don't say, ""in RuneScape."""

"What's the difference between Jesus and Bono? Jesus doesn't think he's Bono"

"Where do Germans go to post shitty memes? NeinGag."

"I have a Latvian Joke Man has potato, man trade potato for magic bean. Magic bean grow into tentacles, rape daughter."

"*Seeing words in itallic...* Makes me want to eat *pasta*."

"Her: What's your biggest weakness? Me: My honesty. Her: I don't think that's a weakness. Me: I don't give a fcuk what you think."

"My neck tattoos are so big the three people after me don't get hired either."

"I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks."