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Joke of the Day

"So, I told that contortionist that I didn't care much for his act. ...And he gets all bent out of shape about it."

"Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser? He got the sack.."

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? A pizza doesn't beg me to keep going when I'm eating it."

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"

"I wanted to be a banker But then I lost interest."

"What are 8 Nougat-Bits? One Nougat-Byte"

"I ate at this restaurant last night. After dinner they gave us some strange cookies. I ate that cookie right away but my friends all removed a small paper message from theirs. That cost me a fortune"

"what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common? they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time."

"I propose that we abolish marriage and engage in 3 year contracts instead, with the option for renewal."

"bury me in a dog park so i can be some dogs treasure"