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Joke of the Day

"Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track? Yoda: off course, we are."

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"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"
"A conversation between 3 partially deaf elderly men. Elder 1: It's windy! Elder 2: No, it's thursday! Elder 3: Right, let's all get a cuppa tea shall we?"
"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult."
"What can a duck do that a lawyer can't? Shove its bill up its ass."
"Two fish are in a tank One turns to the other and says: ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"My girlfriend told me to roleplay as her daddy. So I left her."
"Trump Brand Condoms! Guaranteed to be 100% effective. The wrapper is empty but once you or your partner see his face on it you would no longer want to have sex."
"I think Congress should be forced to go on minimum wage. That way I can feel more comfortable calling them public servants!"
"So much rosemary. So little thyme."