195394

Joke of the Day

"Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track? Yoda: off course, we are."

"To the person who created the first ""Knock, Knock"" joke.... That person should totally have won the No Bell prize."

"I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me."

"I'm rubber, you're glue, we're both living a nightmarish existence as self-aware inanimate objects. Someone please kill us."

"What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat"

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

"I wonder if Buzz and woody had ever met Andy's mom's toys. They probably have the same names"

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"Licking whiskey off your keyboard in the morning is something everyone does, right?"

"Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?"