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Joke of the Day

"bay: come over me: no you're a broad inlet of the sea where the land curves inward bay: my parents aren't home me: how are you talking"

"Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm pretty? Cop: No Me: Because I'm on Twitter? Cop: No Me: Officer I can do this all day"

"What is the worst thing about Gonorrhea ? the taste!"

"We really need to respect organ donors... It takes guts to do what they do! (I'm sorry)"

"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross Country."

"I sing like an amputee I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune..."

"Turns out that when asked which was my favourite of all the X-Men that ""Caitlyn Jenner"" was not a valid answer."

"William Howard Taft was so fat... ...he sat in TWO branches of the federal government."

"I think the world of you! (Polluted, poor, generally prone to disaster.)"