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Joke of the Day

"I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."

"Friend: Hey dude can you please help me out? Me: Yeah, over there mate same way that you came in."

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"How many rednecks does it take... I don't know exactly, but a shit ton."

"How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before? Oh, they'll tell you."

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"The gay marriage referendum was just passed in Ireland. The number of married gay Irish couples will be Dublin."

"What's a whales favorite musical group? An orcastra"

"If you had lesbian parents, You would be in an endless cycle of ""Go ask your mother."""

"How many copies can you make of a page without a copying machine? Xero."