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Joke of the Day

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"According to math, I'm broke"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasaurass"

"Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies? By the time they said ""I'm not that kind of girl"" they were."

"For some reason I'm only afraid of Middle Eastern spiders... It's O.K. though. My doctor says it's normal to be Iraqnaphobic."

"The hard life of a dick... ...his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next-door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Because of texting, today's generation has no idea of the horror felt when get caught passing a note in class and having the teacher make you read it out loud!"

"Epic camping trip last weekend!! It was in tents."

"As I drop my child off to her first day of school it reminds me of how my mom dropped me off as well...except mom was ticketed for littering"

"My pharmacists won't return my calls anymore *snotty cries* something about no more refills. Quick someone sneeze on me! I'm lonely."