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Joke of the Day
"Are you a work of art? Because it looks like Picasso painted you."
Next Joke
"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."
"A woman once told me to look at the world through her eyes. So I looked out the kitchen window."
"I never wanted to believe my husband was stealing from his job as a road worker... ...but when I got home all the signs were there."
"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."
"How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?"
"A man's ears were exposed to a high frequency sound... He said ""It hertz."""
"""Let me get them digits."" - creepy accountant"
"Man in the book store a man enters a bookstore and asks: do you have a book called "" men- king of the house"" gets a reply: No, we don't sell fairy tales here."
"I start undressing you with my eyes. About halfway through, your zipper gets caught on my cornea and I start screaming in agony."