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Joke of the Day

"What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with? Diapertension"

"If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'effusive' ""E-F-F-U-S-I-V-E"" That is correct. What was your name? ""It's Siv"" I know lmao [hi5s other judge]"

"Why do Australians always win 4D chess? Double check, mate"

"The sculpture of Amelia Earhart in the Burbank airport doesn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling before flying."

"Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now."

"I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction, could you say my addiction has gotten out of hand?"

"Why do birds fly south for the winter? because its too far to walk!"

"Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is."

"If i had a pound for every 'Brexit' joke on here... I'd still only have about 5 cents."