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Joke of the Day

"I just shook the crumbs out of my keyboard and they spelled ""GAYLORD."" My haters grow more powerful everyday."

"just realized horses can't hug and now I can't sleep"

"Ironic... is having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times."

"coworker: did you hear someone used all the charity money to buy snacks from the vending machine me: *laughing nervously* that's awful"

"What do you call a hundred women in a tree? A cuntry (country)"

"Why does Popeye have the perfect dick? Because he's always dipping it in Olive Oyl."

"A polar bear walks into a bar Sez, ""l'll take a gin .... [ ] .... ..... and tonic."" Bartender sez, ""Why the big pause""?"

"I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them."

"Im gonna tell my daughter to lay off the liquor, cause I love her! (...and I dont want her to mess up her kidneys before I need one)"

"Money doesn't grow on trees unless you are a pot dealer"