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Joke of the Day

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people."

"As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back"""

"My father's such a condescending man ... Since he died he's always looked down on me."

"Did you hear how Argentina lost the game? heard it was pretty Messi"

"Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education! "

"Duck Joke A duck walks into a bar. The ducks say, ""1 beer please. And put it on my bill."" I'll be here all week"

"My friend says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge. We'll just see about that..."

"Happy Kwanzaa, my black friend! Kwanzaa just means y'all worship a black baby Jesus instead of the real one, right?"

"TIL that black eyes are hereditary You get them from your father if you drink his last beer."

"The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester."