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Joke of the Day

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I was like ""WOW"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"It seems like everything is made in China... ...except for babies. They're made in VaChina"

"Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in? Dr.: a plastic bag"

"A woman on death row is asked what she would like for her last meal. I dunno, what do you want?"

"Did you hear about the plane full of anorexics that crashed? There were no FAT-alities, but everyone felt really, really dead."

"What do you call a Beatles fan who happens to be a Chinese sadomasochistic member of the American Army? Yellow Submarine"

"TIL that if you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end... You would die."

"Yelp Review: Babies Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend."

"Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make? Yoda: ""Dey go bah"""

"One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession Luckily, It only cost them a grand."