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Joke of the Day

"There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note ""Don't eat me"".Now there's an empty plate and a note ""Don't tell me what to do"""

"I thought I saw a new color today but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination."

"What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck? Mashed potatoes."

"I had a friend from Ukraine. Now he's from Russia."

"What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore? Semi-retired."

"Reddit, I am a huge fan of corny jokes. The punnier the better. Gimme your best shot. I'll give you one of my favorites: What does a tree do when it goes on vacation? It packs its trunk and leaves."

"Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label... It says: Warning - May contain traces of nuts."

"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""

"You know whats sad? A depressed onion cutting itself."

"I feel bad I punched that guy, but he shouldn't get so close to my punching bag. I should stop leaving my punching bag by my office door."