195050

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit and the other one can hoot but can't shit."

"Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes in the bathroom."

"I hate to call it ""one night stands."" I prefer ""auditions."""

"That moment when you leave a store but don't buy anything, and you're telling yourself, ""act natural, you're innocent."""

"How did the medical community come up with the term PMS? Mad cow disease was already taken."

"Of all the possible utensils you can use to eat rice... ...how the fuck did two sticks win?"

"Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe."

"What do you call a dog magician?"

"I tried commiting suicide today. Never doing that shit again. I almost killed myself"

"What do you call a wheel with clothes? Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle."