194844

Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because she suspected that 7 knew she had witnessed a murder he had committed the night before."

"According to my FitBit, last week I burned 23 calories and my Ex's house."

"Be right back. -Godot"

"My mother doesn't believe the dough will rise in the oven. She'll believe when she sees the proof."

"I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan."

"So I started up my PC today and all the work on my thesis was gone Who let the .docx out?"

"Just gonna take a nice stroll across the OMG ABORT ABORT!!!! - squirrels"

"Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"What's a Fly without it's wings? A Walk"

"Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT"