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Joke of the Day

"I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan."

"[robbery] ROBBER: Give me all your money! ME: I don't have it all with me. ROBBER: Dang!"

"Relationship status: went to buy condoms and the cashier just said ""yeah right"" and put em back on the shelf"

"My wife says I'm a clueless idiot. I didn't even know I had a wife."

"Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn't attend."

"The best way to eat a salad is to order a pizza instead."

"""My god,"" I whisper as the food arrives. ""Just as the prophecy foretold."""

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym Toast Crunch If you said Synonym Life, please leave."

"A computer once beat me at chess... ...but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"Why did the German cross the road? To get to the Reich side"