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Joke of the Day

"Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT"

"Why did the Hipster burn his lip? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"Did you hear who just took on the biggest gentrification project in America? Donald J. Trump."

"What did the bartender say to the alien? ""You're drunk ET, go home!"""

"Stop supporting Russian companies! I hear they all use Slav labor!"

"*Jesus multiplies a loaf of bread for the masses* From the back: Actually I'm gluten free now. Jesus: ughhh, someone get me a fish"

"From now on everyone should start saying ""No"" when asked to be put on hold."

"What's under there?"

"My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, ""You're taking mutt-ernity leave?"""

"Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for ""Pooh."""