194819

Joke of the Day

"Someone told me my math skills were average. I replied that they were just being mean."

"yells ""PARKOUR"" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance"

"St. Patricks Day Whenever people pinch me on Saint Patricks Day, I punch them. Because whatever you do with ""I"" I do with ""U"""

"What's the difference between an insurance company and an asshole? If you shove money into an asshole at least you can expect to get shit back"

"The priest and the rabbi So, a priest and a rabbi are talking. The priest says:"" I recently fucked a little boy."" The rabbi responds:"" Out of what?"""

"GUYS! You'll never guess what I just did for a Klondike Bar! I took my wallet out of my back pocket and gave the cashier $1.29, plus tax."

"An ESL student accidentally bought a middle Engish dictionary... ...and hath furnished many a quipster and baffoon with merriment and jocularity"

"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""

"Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed? He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral."

"Did you know that a stake through the heart kills humans too?"