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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that a stake through the heart kills humans too?"

"[shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'."

"A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder."

"What have 70 teeths and 2 eyes? -An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes? -A retirement home."

"JOKE: How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb? She gives birth to a son."

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her"

"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."

"What's a pirate's favourite letter? A P. Because it's like an ARR, but it's missing a leg."

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."

"War does not determine who is right... ...only who is left."