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Joke of the Day

"yells ""PARKOUR"" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance"

"I am a 60 year old stuck in an 8 year old body . I want to break free . I should've used more lube."

"Which country has the most millionaires? Zimbabwe."

"Jesus wasn't just fit.... He was crossfit."

"You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist"

"What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with? Diapertension"

"What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale"

"Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Why did Jesus stop playing Hockey? Because he got nailed into the boards (It's a joke not to insult anyone)"

"I would never skydive. http://i.imgur.com/uRJyOmB.png"