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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dead prostitute and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt. ....... Ba dum chhhh!"

"Fact that will blow your mind away. Did you know that Oprah Winfrey contains enough air that it can be used to inhabit life on Mars by creating an atmosphere."

"I hate it when I open Twitter and miss a week of work."

"You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?"

"Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it ""theiyr're."""

"Dad to his adopted son ""What is the extreme limit of laziness?"" Son ""Having an adopted son."""

"Today Happy fathers day kids"

"What do you call an honest man in the Oval Office? Lost"

"Two midgets are sitting around, bored... When one of them pulls out some weed and asks: ""Wanna get medium?"""