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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between me and a pile of bricks? The bricks will get laid."

"They say women only use 10% of their anger"

"A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""

"My resolution for the new year is... 1080p"

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""

"Guys, I really think 50 Shades missed out on a really a big marketing slogan... ""CLIMAX IN IMAX"""

"Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque."

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree..."

"Getting a caricature drawing of yourself is basically the only time you pay money for someone to brutally own you."