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Joke of the Day

"brought a knife onto a flight just so the security agents would tackle me because sometimes it's just nice to be held."

Next Joke
 
"Does heavy lifting make you dumb? Yes Cause counting to 10 has never been this hard before"
"What do you call the survivors of the holocaust? Residue."
"How to wash dishes like a bachelor: 1. Put in sink 2. Wait"
"What is love? You just sang ""baby, don't hurt me."" In your mind didn't you?"
"Stupid cats, can't even YOLO"
"Sometimes a tough situation is best described... As being between Iraq and hard place."
"What's the difference between a skilled magician and a women's choir? Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts..."
"My boyfriend is the best cook With only two nuts, a sausage and some milk he can fill my stomach for 9 months."
"Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners? The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by /u/CanadianWildlifeDept)"