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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!"

"This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash."

"How long does guacamole last in the fridge? Please say a year."

"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"

"Yo mama so fat Every photo from family gathering is her self-portrait."

"If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month."

"Do you know how our planet got it's name? Cause if you do, please tellus"

"Took and Ambien and a Viagra at the same time again. Im finding it hard to sleep."

"Fat women are like hydrogen single and abundant"

"All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants."