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Joke of the Day
"How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus? It was a no brainer."
Next Joke
"People who say ""adorbs"" make me miserbs"
"Marijuana is the gateway drug to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy."
"4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?"
"You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney."
"My dad could kick ur dads ass! Um have u seen my dad Hes a big guy huh? No really have u seen him? He left when I was 9 & never came back"
"Why don't I take my guinea pigs on walksies It's hard on my cavies"
"What did the Canadian think of his hardwood flooring? It was Oak, Eh!"
"I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since. I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne."
"Me: bless me father for I have sinned. Priest: how long since your last confession my son? Me: about 45 minutes ago..."