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Joke of the Day

"[Sunday morning] *congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church* - mass unfollowing"

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"""I need a timing belt & power steering for my life"" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet."
"""Always leave them wanting more"" is great advice for a performer. Restaurant owners, on the other hand..."
"advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he's not joe biden"
"Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? He was a real quackhead."
"Windows Phone"
"Ricky Martin should have waited until Saturday so he could come out the same day as the iPad. Maybe that's what Tom Cruise is waiting for?"
"What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool"
"Islam is a religion of piece....There is a piece there, and another piece n the ground there Not an original joke just found it."
"Silly Americans. The national pastime of Tahiti is making love, but we, silly fools, picked baseball."
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