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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a reindeer, a knight and a cock? The knight is slaying dragons, the reindeer is draggin' sleighs."
"I told my 5 year old that he was allowed to choose 1 item from the grocery store so we're walking home with a cart."
"Elliott Smith... Wouldn't know heartache if it stabbed him in the chest."
"Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion."
"I welcome new employees by leaving a candy bar on their desk. Then I drop by later and yell, ""Yo, who ate my candy? You're my bitch now!""."
"im a fruad. i wear the wrangler jeans despite never having wrangled a single goddamn thing in my life"
"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."
"What's the best way to keep water from running? Don't pay the water bill."
"A termite walks into a bar... He says, ""Is the bar tender here?"""