194367

Joke of the Day

"9/11 jokes are hurtful to me. My dad died that day The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia. Sniff."

"Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!"

"I saw a documentary about how ships are held together It was riveting"

"Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit."

"How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb? 69"

"*flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No"

"Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver? She's dead."

"I printed out this website's logo and then I realised I didn't need it. Should I throw out the piece of paper or should I... Shreddit"

"Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck."