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Joke of the Day

"I discovered it's not a good idea to eat baklava while wearing a balaclava."

"A cop pulls a guy over.... And asks the man ""sir have you been drinking tonight?"" Looking around the car bewildered he replies ""why is there a fat bitch in here?"""

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"If horse jockeys have to be tiny just imagine how small disk jockeys have to be. I'll see myself out."

"Just think of the money we could have saved with Hillary. We would have saved 24% by hiring a woman."

"Wipe that smile off your face :"

"Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential."

"I don't like abbreviations. I'm a real abbreviations National Socialist."

"#GrandTheftAutoMemories banging a hooker in my car, shooting her to get my money back, then going home to play Grand Theft Auto."