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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if someone uses Apple products? Just wait and they'll tell you."

"A boy said to his father one day, ""Dad, when I grow up I want to be a musician."" His father responded, ""I'm sorry, son, you can't have it both ways."""

"What do you call a recovering alcoholic? A ginspiration."

"I'm a paranoid narcissist... I'm afraid no one's out to get me!"

"Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra"

"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"You know I think Fight Club is pretty underrated. Nobody talks about it these days"

"Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, ""What the hell have I done?"""

"Well quit blocking my knife if you don't like being stabbed in the hands."

"I became a vegetarian 4 months ago.. .. I guess you can say that I quit cold turkey"