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Joke of the Day
"When is an outlaw neither left-handed nor right-handed? When he's red-handed."
Next Joke
"NALA: Why can't you be the king I know? The king you have inside you? SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king."
"I just tried to type ""cop car"" but it autocorrected to ""cop cat"" and boom I just came up with the title of a new hit detective show."
"everything happens for a reason and the reason is stupid"
"Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar... ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final."
"Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby? ... Stealing candy from a dead baby."
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick into an asshole..."
"What's the best part about having sex with a transsexual? Pretending it went all the way through"
"Him: I think I'm getting sick. Me: Do you want some euthanasia? Him: I'm pretty sure it's called echinacea. Me: Tomato, tomahto."
"What is Grammar? The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit."