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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in."

"What happened to the Milkman? He drank all the milk.... makes sense no? logically, yes!"

"TIL Lebanese people are from the fugawi tribe. When they walked out of the airport they said we're the fugawi."

"As a bachelor I learned to separate my laundry into three piles; dirty, not so bad, and I could wear this another two three times if needed."

"Relation-SHIPS sink when they have too many passengers."

"Thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 15 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a squirrel."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.. But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"My wife tells me my conspiracy theory obsession is getting out of control.. I wonder how much the government paid her to say that."

"I tried phone sex today I ended up with hearing aids"

"Being illiterate and having a girlfriend would be easy. They'd be like ""did you get my text?"" and you could just be like ""I can't read."""