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Joke of the Day

"Thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 15 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a squirrel."

"What do you need to perform a fair test in a mental asylum? A control freak."

"If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play ""Total Eclipse Of The Heart"". Bears love that song."

"I'm a janitor at MIT and i see some extremely hard ass equation on the chalk board. i quickly erase it because im not being paid to do math"

"""Were any famous men born on your birthday?"" ""No, only little babies."" "

"The irony of being a horse is you could lift weights all day and you will still only have 1 horsepower"

"What do a gay man having sex and a pom pom have in common? They're both poofs on the end of a stick."

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"China's number 1 brand of Protein? I-Whey-Whey"

"Yeah food is good but idk I guess I just always wanted to be able to devour souls as well"