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Joke of the Day

"what do you call an underwater dog? a sub-woofer"

"What does snoop doggy dog use to do his laundry? Answer in comments."

"Uber driver: ""I'm close, where are you?"" Me: ""oh I see you"" Uber Driver: ""Are you the guy in the middle of the road?"" Me: ""yeah floor it"""

"When I was 9, I was touched by an Angel. Angel Martinez, currently serving 16 years."

"If she's on top... You're fucking up."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain? So you're the one.... (only if you answered ""i don't know"")"

"What do you call a British nanny with an MDMA addiction? Molly Poppins."

"What do slutty nurses go as for Halloween?"

"Crows are like if a witch decided ""I'm a bird now, too"""

"After a few bites of sunflower butter I've never been more fully prepared to buy a Prius."