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Joke of the Day

"An old woman ask her husband of 65 years... what would you do if I stated smoking? He quickly replies ""Slow down and use more lube."""

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"Waiting for a mannequin with a gut so I can really see how that shirt will look on me."
"iTunes has got it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me."
"Women who build walls around yourselves, please consider putting in a gloryhole."
"Let's agree that if we're both not married in ten years we'll sew our cats together to make one big SuperCat."
"What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto"
"I can see Alaska from my window and I live in [Joisey!] (http://newyork.cbslocal.com/photo-galleries/2016/01/23/blizzard-2016-brings-flooding-snow-to-new-jersey/)"
"For Christmas last year I got a sweater. This year I'd prefer a moaner or a squirter."
"""I might be a sex virgin but I'm not a virgin at AWESOME MAGIC TRICKS!"" *trips on cape, knocks over table with punchbowl & cookies*"
"A Priest and a Rabbi Are sitting in the park when a little boy walks by. The priest says ""Wanna fuck him?"". The rabbi says ""out of what?"""