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Joke of the Day

"I'm thankful my wife harvested over $100,000 in potatoes on Farmville while I ate a grilled cheese for dinner & am sleeping on dirty laundry"

"Most disgusting joke I know ... [NSFW] So, I was eating out my girlfriend when all of a sudden I tasted horse sperm. I couldn't help but shout out ""aha grandmother, so that's how you died!""."

"Soft on Wall Street. Hard on Sesame Street. Romney 2012."

"Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?"

"Have you heard about Beyonce's new perfume line, Beyotch?"

"What do 12 year old mexican girls and born-again christians have in common? They both have a little Jesus in 'em..."

"Where do theatrical cats wear their gloves? On their... Dramatic Paws"

"Ironically, seeing a picture of you flashing a peace sign makes me want to violently end your life."

"The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140."

"I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours."