193740

Joke of the Day

"When I was a child someone shot me with a flare gun and I've been absolutely fabulous ever since"

"What do you call a droid who's never on time? BB-L8"

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"""

"Ya know you're from Tacoma when... Your niece sees velvet ropes and says ""Ooh , that's some really nice police tape""!"

"Kindergarten reunion??!?!?! I've gained like 100 pounds since then. No way I'm showing up!!!!"

"When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood."

"A woman is a lot like an oven You gotta warm her up first but then you can put your meat inside."

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"Why are cpws made for dancing? They're all born hoofers!"

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"