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Joke of the Day

"Ya know you're from Tacoma when... Your niece sees velvet ropes and says ""Ooh , that's some really nice police tape""!"

"It's my wife birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she's in for a rude awakening. I'm buying her a Tourettes alarm clock."

"I like my women how I like my fish, battered I thought it up in science, so I hope it is a new joke(hopefully) :)"

"What's the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies."

"Just found out my wife is a dolphin in a wig."

"What do you call a furiously masturbating dinosaur? A Velocifapper."

"I had to put my dog down today. My arms were getting tired."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"Did you hear that the band members of No Doubt have announced they are moving forward without Gwen Stefani. It is reported they will now go by the name ""Some Doubt""."

"Why was Juan late to the Mexican food party? Because he had to pick up the [pace!](http://imgur.com/21sH8sj)"