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Joke of the Day

"In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man."

"I've invented a solar-powered still! It turns sunshine into moonshine. Credit: Quirk."

"""This ice bucket challenge is really contributing to California's drought"" I said as i skipped into Raging Waters"

"I just burned 1,500 calories! I forgot the pizza in the oven."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number that you'll never understand."

"A man walks up to a woman ""We're going to have sex tonight"" The man said. ""Why?"" replied the woman. ""Because I'm stronger than you"""

"Have you ever tried North Korean food? Neither have they"

"Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car? To cut the corners!"

"I've just bought you all a deck of cards. Deal with it."

"How do you get in with a pretty nurse? You need to be patient."