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Joke of the Day

"How many musos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it."

"What hurts? When a man with a boner runs against a wall. And what is embarrassing? When his nose touches the wall first."

"I have one of those unlimited cell phone plans. There's no limit to how much they can charge me."

"Due to the rapid response of and crackdown by the NYPD over the phrase, ""Put wings on"

"Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three Blind Mice!"

"Did you hear about the guy that was accused of using his boss's hand soap as lube for masturbating? He came clean."

"Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog"

"My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word."

"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is gettin better."

"A man died after following the World Health Organisation's advice: ""Eat 5 fruits and vegetables a day."" He ate 3 watermelons and two pumpkins."