193658

Joke of the Day

"If you're American before you go in the bathroom and American after you leave the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European"

"Today I extended an olive branch to my enemy. As hard as I could and right in the eye."

"When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet. We had to go to the library to masturbate."

"How do you know when a black woman is pregnant? When you pull out her tampon and all the cotton is picked."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian... Best joke of my career."

"My friend went to the doctor... because he woke up and his penis was orange. The doctor took one look at it and said,""John you've been watching porn and eating cheetos again haven't you?"""

"I know where you live In a house"

"""I love you...conditionally."" -Cats"

"Thank God I don't have to pay my computer's solitaire debts."

"if anyone tries to tell you your dreams are unachievable just remember i have crashed my dirt bike into all 7 wonders of the world"