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Joke of the Day

"ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name."

"Why are people so surprised that Joe Biden acts like such a poonhound? It's in his job description. After all, he *is* the Vice President."

"My girlfriend goes on a bike trip every 28 days. She calls it her monthly cycle."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge? Tequila"

"Fish jokes? I'm working a community fish fry and need your best fish jokes! Like: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh."

"Let me tell you know what I know about dawrves... very little"

"How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible"

"What do you call a pessimistic melon? A cantaloupe"

"What is the fastest mineral in the world? The malacheetah."

"I waited 279 days before I made my first post on Reddit, apparently I could've waited 558 days and received the same response."