193496

Joke of the Day

"6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh"

"Blind jokes? didn't see that coming.."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from ""Taken"" today.. ""I will find you, and I will kill you."" My niece didn't want to play hide and seek anymore."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a chicken? The chicken likes the cock."

"What's your dog's name? Icebreaker."

"What do you call a person who wears adult diapers? Ehh, it depends."

"Whoa whoa whoa... I was stalking her first buddy..."

"Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water."

"Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub."

"Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux."