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Joke of the Day

"6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh"

"""Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts"" ""That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"""

"How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food."

"A joke my three year old brother told me Why do cows poop carrots? BECAUSE THEY'RE CARROT COWS!!!"

"So many Jehovah's Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah's Evidence."

"Wanna go out with me? Make an awkward face for yes. Name the entire periodic table for no."

"Britney is stranded on an island Britney is starving Britney forms tool out of rocks and sticks Britney sees a fish Britney Spears"

"No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby."

"I made a Belgium waffle this morning, This afternoon I'm going to make a Frenchman talk nonsense."

"What's green and german? Snotzis."