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Joke of the Day

"Politicians hate each other more than they love America."

"Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!"

"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat."

"Social media is nice because now we can all experience profound solitude and isolation together."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid."

"The brake is on the left, the gas peddle is on the right, & the liquor store is 4 miles ahead. -Me teaching my 3yr old niece how to drive"

"I can't believe how popular these gluten-free items are getting!!! They're selling like hot cakes!"

"What do phone books and women have in common? They both couldn't vote before 1920"

"I wish there was a job that required me to pet a room full of basset hounds all day long."

"Someone tweeted today that they were ""29-ish"" and I didn't know you could ""ish"" 15 years."