193235

Joke of the Day

"I've found a great 24-hour Indian restaurant It's my favorite nonstop naan-stop"

"[just meeting a new group of people] My brain: say something cool and different Me: HOW YA'LL GOT?? Brain: nice"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Dont be silly, feminists cant change anything."

"If you put your ear really close to someone's knee you can actually hear... ...them say: ""What the fuck are you doing?!"""

"Kim Jong Un walks into a bar... [removed]"

"What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk."

"One day I'm going to cure blindness... You'll see. You'll all see!"

"I used to have a student who suffered from suicidal thoughts but now I don't."

"If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity."

"Just did my holiday shopping. I've got so many shorts now; I'm swimming in them!"