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Joke of the Day

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."

"When it comes to distinguishing male genitalia from female genitalia... There's a Vas Deferens."

"I went into a haunted house today. All the ghosts ejaculated on my face. It was a bookkake."

"When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer, it's called ""art"" and ""music. When I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."

"New information has come into my possession that reveals a significant percentage of you are full of shit."

"What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts"

"My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips."

"""911 wats ur emergency"" hi-- huh? um-- so, uh-- ah. oh geez. well im only just now realizimg that the girl at the bar gave me a fake number"

"What do you use to wipe off a table after breakfast? A ragamuffin. Knew it was a dadjoke as soon as I saw my 9 year old roll his eyes."